Wednesday, 27 May 2020

Reflecting on mental health awareness week

A side profile shot of me sitting on a doorstep in blue jeans and a floral blue crop top
Mental health awareness week has passed, and I stopped myself from publishing this post last week because I wanted to continue the conversation. I shared the story about my battle with mental health over on twitter and I will be sharing it here, once I’ve found the strength to write about it in depth.

There’s a lot of cliché things I can say in regard to mental health, I’m sure you’ve heard it and you’re sick of hearing it. This post is not that. The theme for this year's awareness week was kindness and I struggled to put my thoughts into words that make sense to someone living outside of my head so, I wrote a poem.

Valid
I feel my lungs fill with air,
heavy hands press down onto my shoulders.
I feel myself begin to sink,
as it takes over.

My limbs are not working.
I’m stuck.
My ears are full of water.
I can’t hear.

Can you see me?
Can you hear me?
If I scream louder, will you notice me?
If I don’t scream at all, am I still valid?

It has my thoughts under lock and key.
I am trapped.
I have the ability to breathe but I can’t.
I feel suffocated.

Its hold is stronger than I.
“Give up”, it whispers,
I nearly give in.

I fall,
I’m saved.
I fall again.
This time,
I shatter

I fall one last time,
I overcome
I stand tall-
For now

Francisca 
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